Las citas en línea son buenas para los hombres, pero no tanto para las mujeres – El Mostrador

Básicamente, las necesidades de las personas que buscan pareja en línea están más cubiertas para los hombres que para las mujeres, lo cual juega a favor de ellos. Para nosotras, es más difícil usar esas habilidades evolutivas a través de una app que para ellos.

Fuente: Las citas en línea son buenas para los hombres, pero no tanto para las mujeres – El Mostrador


Los nuevos términos que se aplican en el amor en los tiempos del WhatsApp – El Mostrador

Ghosting, benching, breadcrumbing, zombing, son los términos que se usan para definir algunos de los tipos de relaciones que entablas por Whatsapp.

Fuente: Los nuevos términos que se aplican en el amor en los tiempos del WhatsApp – El Mostrador


The internet scammer who loved me (not) | Life and style | The Guardian

On 2 February, at the cusp of Valentine’s Day, the Los Angeles sheriff’s department warned of the “growing criminal epidemic” of romance scams during a community meeting called Love Hurts. Romance scams are a type of online fraud, in which criminals pose as desirable partners on dating sites or email, win the hearts of their victims and end up fleecing them of their money.

Fuente: The internet scammer who loved me (not) | Life and style | The Guardian


A normalization of violence: how cyberbullying began and how to fight it | Life and style | The Guardian

Everyday on the internet, people – disproportionately women, people of color and queer people – are abused. How did we get here and what can we do about it?

Fuente: A normalization of violence: how cyberbullying began and how to fight it | Life and style | The Guardian


Sexual harassment in virtual reality feels all too real – ‘it’s creepy beyond creepy’ | Technology | The Guardian

Sexual harassment has been a feature of online and gaming communities from the earliest days of the internet. Until now, the abuse has been largely limited to verbal and visual messages, but as virtual reality technology becomes more immersive, the line between our real bodies and our digital bodies begins to blur.

Fuente: Sexual harassment in virtual reality feels all too real – ‘it’s creepy beyond creepy’ | Technology | The Guardian


Love me Tinder – tales from the frontline of modern dating | Life and style | The Guardian

Modern love is digitised. Letters and unrequited love have been replaced with modern iterations (saucy pictures and ghosting). You do not go on blind dates, you go on dates with people whose best photos you deem, at best, attractive and, at worst, passable. No one asks each other out in person any more, probably.

Fuente: Love me Tinder – tales from the frontline of modern dating | Life and style | The Guardian


Porn as sex education: a cultural influence we can no longer ignore | Maree Crabbe | Opinion | The Guardian

Not only does pornography commonly portray a particularly concentrated and toxic version of gender inequality, it suggests that it is sexy

Fuente: Porn as sex education: a cultural influence we can no longer ignore | Maree Crabbe | Opinion | The Guardian


Getting off offline: when porn gets in the way of a real-world relationship | Culture | The Guardian

Many believe that porn is addictive, and that the endless stream of on-demand internet erotica makes real-life sexual experiences not stimulating enough

Fuente: Getting off offline: when porn gets in the way of a real-world relationship | Culture | The Guardian


Lessons in life that online dating taught me | Daisy Buchanan | Comment is free | theguardian.com

Lessons in life that online dating taught me | Daisy Buchanan | Comment is free | theguardian.com.

I learned the value of enjoying my own company, trusting my instincts and taking control. Oh, and the power of small talk
Two hearts on a computer keyboard
‘If you’re signing up to a dating site, there is a chance that you’ll end up meeting someone you really like, but no matter what happens, you will definitely come away with some brand new skills.’ Photograph: Alamy

While writing a guide to dating on the internet, I spent a lot of time revisiting the ghost of dates past. Before meeting my fiance online I was, on various occasions, bored to tears, catfished (pursued by someone who seemed to have an extensive selection of identities and no interest in actually meeting), shown some unsolicited testes, poisoned by a chicken burrito and treated to a live action one-man recreation of the fourth season of The Wire. If I learned anything about dating itself though, it was to keep laughing and not lose heart – but I also came away with plenty of other life lessons.

If you’re signing up to a dating site as your new year’s resolution, there is a chance that you’ll end up meeting someone you really like, but no matter what happens, you will definitely come away with some brand new skills. Here’s what I discovered:


For a 50-year-old woman, being yourself online is a no-no | Life and style | The Guardian

For a 50-year-old woman, being yourself online is a no-no | Life and style | The Guardian.

For any chance of success, you need to be skinny, Pilates-practising, scuba-diving – and a fan of The Fast Show
Scuba diving
Scuba diving – the mature woman’s route to a man’s heart? (Posed by models) Photograph: Alamy

For a while, my dating site profile said that the end of my relationship wasn’t my idea. I thought people would find it reassuring that I’m not a dumper, but – if you like – a dumpee. What I found was that most men didn’t find it reassuring at all. It seemed to trigger something – curiosity and then judgment. “What did you do to get dumped? Are you a bitch?” I mentioned this in an online chat one evening with a man called Neville, and asked what he thought.

“You may as well give up now,” he wrote, ignoring the question, “and withdraw from here and save your money.” I asked him what he meant.

“It’s porn that’s your problem,” he said. “Now that porn is normal, now that it’s normal to look at porn online, that’s the downfall of the middle-aged woman.

“Men are convinced that if they become bachelors again, that’s the kind of sex life they’ll get. Young women, big tits, flat stomachs, a tight fit where it matters. There are loads of gorgeous young things here who’d be happy with a 50-year-old sugar daddy. You can’t compete with that.”

Not having seen profiles written by other 50-year-old women, it was hard to know what the norm was, and how far I deviated from the average. I mentioned this to my friend Jack. Together we went in to my page with rolled-up sleeves and blitzed every one of the errors he identified – being whiney, being needy, being pompous and self-aggrandising (that hurt), overly-conventional (Radio 4 was tussled over; I won), and too bookish. The argument that it was best to be myself cut little ice. Despite his efforts, despite adding baking, London parks, gigs and beer to the list of things I like, I was still, Jack complained, all too evidently an alpha control freak and raging intellectual snob. That was limiting the response types. It was putting people off.

It is important online not to be seen to take yourself too seriously. Men engaged in online dating constantly say how unseriously they take life, as if that’s a good thing. I find it a complete turn-off, but then it is evident that I have way too many opinions. I am persisting with the accurate, off-putting version of myself.


I caught my husband watching pornography – I’m shocked | Life and style | The Guardian

I caught my husband watching pornography – I’m shocked | Life and style | The Guardian.

We have been married for more than 30 years, and I am deeply upset to learn that there is this hidden side to his character

My boyfriend rarely orgasms when we have sex

Ask Molly Ringwald: I’ve got a crush on a band-mate who is 15 years my junior

My husband and I are in our early 60s. We have been married for more than 30 years and are quite happy together, other than having had a range of family issues to deal with. Our sex life has dwindled, but we are still very affectionate.

The other night I went into my husband’s study unexpectedly and he seemed to be looking at pictures of naked women on his computer. I made no comment because there was an urgent matter requiring attention and we hurried away to attend to it. I think he believes that I didn’t see the screen.

I was shocked and wondered if I had imagined it. It seemed so out of character – he is a highly respectable, scholarly person, not inclined to tackiness. I checked his laptop a few days later – mainly to reassure myself that I had imagined it, or that they were paintings or something (he is an art fan). However, the history for that date was deleted, which was suspicious in itself. I located it in the system files and discovered he had been on a range of pornographic sites.

I am deeply, deeply upset by this. I am not prudish – it is not the pornography that I object to, but rather that I am so shocked by discovering this hidden side of his character. Am I overreacting?


El filósofo de moda explica por qué Eros agoniza y el pensamiento llega a su final – Noticias de Alma, Corazón, Vida

El filósofo de moda explica por qué Eros agoniza y el pensamiento llega a su final – Noticias de Alma, Corazón, Vida.

Uno de los ensayos que mejor acogida está teniendo en España es La agonía del Eros (Herder editorial), la obra del filósofo de la Universidad de las Artes de Berlín Byung-Chul Han. En ella, el pensador alemán de origen coreano parte de las teorías sobre la forma en que seleccionamos hoy a nuestras parejas descritas por la socióloga Eva Illouz para señalar cómo el amor está amenazado por algo más que la libertad sin fin y las enormes posibilidades de elección.

Antes, argumenta Illouz, estábamos ligados a nuestro entorno, de forma que el número de partenaires que podíamos conocer era limitado; hoy existen muchísimas más posibilidades de elección gracias a internet y eso, entre otros factores, nos ha hecho mucho más utilitaristas. Para Han, el problema va mucho más allá, ya que vivimos en una sociedad narcisista, donde la libido se invierte en la propia subjetividad y el mundo se presenta sólo como una proyección de sí mismo. Esa “erosión del otro” es la que mata al Eros, porque el narcisista no puede encontrar nada fuera que sea distinto de sí, y por lo tanto no hay nada que pueda amar.

La mejor prueba de esa erosión del otro está en el porno, que es la antípoda del Eros porque aniquila la sexualidad misma. Bajo este aspecto, dice Han, es incluso más eficaz que la moral: lo obsceno en el porno no es el exceso de sexo, sino que allí no hay sexo. La sexualidad hoy, no está amenazada por aquella razón pura que, adversa al placer, evita el sexo por ser algo sucio sino por la pornografía.


Is there a Rihanna sex tape? No, it's a malware scam on Facebook | Technology | theguardian.com

Is there a Rihanna sex tape? No, it’s a malware scam on Facebook | Technology | theguardian.com.

But it’s not as popular as the fake app pretending to tell you who’s been peeking at your profile

Clicking on a Facebook link to a 'Rihanna sex tape' won't end well.
Clicking on a Facebook link to a ‘Rihanna sex tape’ won’t end well. Photograph: Patrick McMullan Co./REX

There is no sex tape of Rihanna and her boyfriend doing the rounds online. You can’t see who’s been looking at your Facebook profile. And you can’t change your Facebook colour either.

This may all sound obvious, but according to antivirus firm Bitdefender, these are the most popular malware scams on the social network in 2014.

The company has published a list of the top 10 Facebook scams, with the fake app promising to tell you your Facebook views and visitors by far the most popular, accounting for 30.2% of bogus links it identified on the social network this year.

Clicking on any of them will lead Facebook users to sites that try to install viruses on their computers, as malware developers continue to seek new ways to spread their software to unsuspecting victims.

The chart is good news for Taylor Swift and Disneyland, who both featured in Bitdefender’s list a year ago. Swift’s non-existent sex tape and an offer of a free trip to Disneyland have fallen from the top 10 over the last 12 months.

“Why do people still want to see who has been taking a peek at their profile, despite all security warnings? I think they believe these are legitimate apps,” said chief security strategist Catalin Cosoi.

“This is social engineering at its finest – a challenging mental game that pushes the right psychological buttons. The baits have changed over time, with stalkers, peekers, admirers, overly attached girlfriends and exes haunting you, but the reason this scam works is simple: human nature.”


First the internet ruined sex, now it's ruining the weather | Stuart Heritage | Comment is free | The Guardian

First the internet ruined sex, now it’s ruining the weather | Stuart Heritage | Comment is free | The Guardian.

As fun as LightningMaps appears to be, I think it might actively be spoiling my enjoyment of thunderstorms
Thunderstorm

Lightning … coming to a location near you. Photograph: Matti Keltanen

As I continue to plummet inescapably towards middle age, I have found myself searching for the thing. The thing that all men develop at a certain age. At first this thing will merely be an interest, taken up to escape the drab tedium of day-to-day life. But, gradually and without warning, it will blossom into so much more than that. It will become their entire identity.

For some men this thing is golf. For others it’s gardening or piano-playing. My dad’s thing is fishing, which means he’s doomed to only receive birthday cards with pictures of fish on them for the rest of his life. About 10 years ago he attempted to stage a feeble protest against this. “There’s more to me than just fishing!” he wheezed, forlornly. “I’m a person too!” It didn’t work. The following year someone gave him a cushion shaped like a fish. Like I said, he’s doomed.

Anyway, I’m starting to worry that my thing might be amateur meteorology. Admittedly this is entirely based on a chance discovery ofLightningMaps.org, a website that shows lightning strikes occurring in real time, but my interest in that alone has already developed into something bordering on dangerous obsession.


My year of video game sex | Technology | theguardian.com

My year of video game sex | Technology | theguardian.com.

From iPad orgasm simulators to strip tease puzzlers, sex in video games takes shape in surprising ways

How Do You Do It
How Do You Do It – a game about discovering sex via dolls

I’ve spunked a heck of a lot of time on video games in the past few years. However, before I started researching the column affectionately titled “S.EXE” at RockPaperShotgun I had never thought: “This game is a bit erotic.” Games are not really known for their ability to articulate anything with less than the rhetorical power of a brick through a dollhouse, never mind being able to convey eroticism, innuendo or subtext.

And yet here I am, a few months down the line, and I’ve learned quite a lot about how human bodies might relate to each other, just from writing about how sex and relationships are approached through the humble medium of the “video” “game”. They can convey subtext and eroticism and gender politics and attachment just as well as almost anything else.

Fingle, for example, is a surprisingly intimate iPad game where you rhythmically rub your fingers against another person’s to complete fingertip obstacle courses. In Japanese “otome” dating games you get to know your suitor intimately before they will even let you kiss or “win” them, illuminating many interesting things about Japanese culture.

Recently I interviewed the game designers Auriea Harvey and Michaël Samyn, who met and cybersexed via an online art commune in the early 90s. They began making sexy digital art together. They recently released the award-winning Luxuria Superbia on PC and iPad, which is an abstract game you touch in different ways until it explodes with colour and movement. It’s not a subtle metaphor, but it’s executed with taste and sensitivity, a nod and a wink. It transmits the idea that sex might in fact be communication, about a multitude of touches, sensations and responses rather than “bash A to win”.


From teledildonics to interactive porn: the future of sex in a digital age | Life and style | The Guardian

From teledildonics to interactive porn: the future of sex in a digital age | Life and style | The Guardian.

Click to watch our interactive film about the seven digital deadly sins
A neon lips sign

‘I’ve yet to meet a person who can vibrate at 120hz. And there’s something to be said for that, you know? Technology will offer a level of pleasure that is higher than the real thing.’ Photograph: Sara Morris for the Guardian

When 35-year-old Jane first signed up to the dating website she has used for about a year, she says it was “quite overwhelming”. “I was inundated with winks, and messages, people trying to chat with me live online, all sorts. Some will send you detailed pictures of their penis, basically. What the hell? You’ve got a penis. Congratulations.”

In due course, Jane found ways of negotiating the sexual barrage, and went on to meet 20 or more men; about three-quarters of those have turned into some sort of romantic or physical relationship. “They’ve all been mini-relationships. I’ve never had a one-night stand.”

Online dating is not an unusual story, but Jane has been married for seven years. The site she uses is Ashley Madison, one of a growing number that caters to men and women seeking extra-marital affairs. Deeply unhappy in her marriage to a husband who “shows no interest in me sexually”, she says Ashley Madison turned her life round. “I don’t take antidepressants any more. And I can sleep properly. Mentally and physically, it has changed things. I’m getting on better with my husband.”

She never thought of herself as a potential adulterer. “My dad cheated on my mum years ago, and I didn’t speak to him for years after that. I was horrified. I thought it was the most immoral thing. But now I’m doing it, I’m seeing it from a different angle.” While surface social mores haven’t changed much in recent years – politicians still play on family values, and Ashley Madison is still banned from advertising on British television – in the private spaces of the web, things are moving fast.


El robot en la cama | SurySur

El robot en la cama | SurySur.

robot en la cama

La tecnología se presenta cada vez mas como diseñadora  de nuestra intimidad y  sustituta de la vida de carne, hueso y sangre. Gracias a las conexiones digitales y a las redes sociales podemos tener compañía sin las demandas de la amistad  y comunicarnos  sin tener que soportar la pesada presencia física del otro. Miremos solo la maravilla  del IPhone… ¿No es como tener toda la ciudad, y mucho mas, en la mano?  Que mejor… ¿Cierto?

 

Y el asunto no termina aquí. Según el científico británico en computación David Levy la cultura robótica creara a mediados de la centuria nuevas formas de vida. El amor con robots será tan normal como el amor con otros humanos y el acto sexual y sus posiciones comúnmente practicadas serán enriquecidas con sus enseñanzas  más allá de todo lo que los manuales publicados hasta ahora habían imaginado. Ellos nos enseñaran a ser mejores amantes y mejores amigos porque podremos practicar con ellos y, cuando sea necesario, podremos  sustituir a la gente cuando ellas nos fallen. Los robots son, por supuesto, “otros”, pero en muchas formas, mejores. De partida, no infidelidad, no engaño, no complicaciones. El valor de un robot, dice Levy, estará en su capacidad para hacernos sentir mejor y el amor con ellos será tan normal como el amor  entre  humanos. Y Levy no esta solo en adoptar esta promiscuidad tecnológica. El amor, el sexo y el matrimonio con robots, según se dice,  no va a ser  “mejor que nada”, sino “mejor que algo”.

 

 

 

¿Qué tipo de relaciones con las maquinas son posibles, deseables o éticas? ¿Qué nos dice el amor con  un robot acerca del ser humano contemporáneo? Una relacion amorosa o una relacion   auténticamente solidaria involucran el intento, por amargo que sea, de mirar y sentir el mundo desde el punto de vista del otro con toda su historia, su biología, sus  neurosis, dolores y alegrías. El amor, como decía Ortega, es el canje de dos soledades por la soledad de uno. Las computadoras y los robots  no tienen nada de esto. No experiencias que intercambiar, no  familia y no conocen el dolor de la perdida que causa  la muerte… ¿Por qué, entonces, esta obsesión si dentro de ellos no hay nadie? En  un Tweet alguien escribe… “Termine con las maquinas inteligentes. Quiero una maquina que considere mis necesidades ¿Dónde están las maquinas sensitivas”?… Bueno, en Japón, ¿cierto?…  desde donde  han empezado a moverse a otros lugares.


Vía BBC Mundo: Tres cambios que causó internet en las relaciones de pareja » The Clinic Online

Vía BBC Mundo: Tres cambios que causó internet en las relaciones de pareja » The Clinic Online.

Vía BBC Mundo

Atrás quedó el bar, la fiesta de amigos y el encuentro casual: el “mercado virtual” del amor es real y está en expansión. Según un estudio publicado este lunes, dos de cada tres personas que utilizan páginas web para encontrar pareja terminan concretando citas con potenciales “almas gemelas”. Y una de cada cuatro parece encontrarla.

En concreto, el estudio, del Centro de Investigación Pew -un organismo estadounidense que analiza tendencias contemporáneas- revela que 66% de las personas que utilizan Match.com, eHarmony, OK Cupid y similares (en Estados Unidos), han concertado encuentros con posibles novios. Suelen tener entre 25 y 45 años, son universitarios y citadinos. De este grupo, 23% se ha casado o ha establecido una relación sólida de varios años.

Todas las variables analizadas en el estudio, que evalúan la dinámica de quienes recurren a este tipo de sitios, registraron un aumento promedio de 10% al ser comparadas con datos obtenidos en un proyecto similar realizado en 2005. También revelaron cambios en la dinámica de las relaciones amorosas a raíz de la influencia de la web para que “cada oveja encuentre a su pareja”.

A continuación, le presentamos algunos.


'Spera q PP salió del 4to': otro capítulo sobre el cibersexo >> Blog Eros >> Blogs EL PAÍS

‘Spera q PP salió del 4to’: otro capítulo sobre el cibersexo >> Blog Eros >> Blogs EL PAÍS.

Por: Autor Invitado 05 de octubre de 2013

Por Roberto Fabricio*

El sexo ha tenido una relación con la red desde su inicio. Desde que Tom Hanks y Meg Ryan llevaron su encuentro romántico a través de AOL a la gran pantalla enTienes un e-mailen 1998, vivimos en un mundo de relaciones virtuales.

David Ryle_Riser
David Ryle_Riser (Getty Images).

Hace unas semanas realicé una encuesta informal entre pasajeros del metro de Barcelona que estaban utilizando sus móviles. De cien personas a las que consulté, 55 me dijeron que practican el cibersexo en algún momento (de esos, 14 estaban haciendo texting de contenido erótico en el metro).

El cibersexo, qué duda cabe, es el más reciente capítulo en la larga historia del sexo.


La batalla para acabar con el “porno de la venganza” – El Mostrador

La batalla para acabar con el “porno de la venganza” – El Mostrador.

California aprobó una ley pionera en EE.UU. para proteger a las personas cuyas exparejas publican sin su consentimiento imágenes íntimas en internet. Se trata de un fenómeno creciente que puede arruinar la vida de quienes lo padecen.

Es una pesadilla que, con el aumento del uso de las nuevas tecnologías, cada vez viven más personas: las imágenes eróticas o los videos sexuales grabados en la intimidad de la pareja aparecen de repente publicadas en la red para que los vean todos los internautas, en muchos casos con la intermediación de un exnovio o exnovia despechado.

Ahora, los legisladores en California quieren castigar este tipo de comportamiento, que en inglés se conoce como “revenge porn” (“porno de la venganza”) y que mayoritariamente afecta a mujeres, cuyas vidas se ven profundamente afectadas.

La Legislatura estatal californiana acaba de aprobar la ley conocida como SB 255, que otorga a las víctimas de esta práctica las herramientas para que puedan perseguir por la vía penal a quien subió sin su consentimiento las imágenes a internet.